On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
