I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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