I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
