I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm drive I can fine osifer
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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