Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
