I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
