The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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