I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
