The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
