your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
