On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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