Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
