In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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