whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize