I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
