That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
