Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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