tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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