I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
