it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
