I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
