So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
