i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
