yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
