On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
