just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
