how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
