If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize