i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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