He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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