Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
