hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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