i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
