It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
