i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
