Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
