you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize