Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
