I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Someone shit on the floor
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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