I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
