she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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