maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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