so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
