This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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