Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
