considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
