everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
