i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
