Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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