i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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