A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
