Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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