I need help removing her.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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