we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize