please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
