when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
