Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
