just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
