I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
why is half of my head shaved?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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