Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
