that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
