she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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