To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
