Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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