My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize