i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
