I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Randomize
