I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
