I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
