I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize