Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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