Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
