PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
