he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
whose parrot is this?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
