Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
