I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize