My Higher Power is John Stamos
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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