Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
