I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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